The Inner Critic: Take Back Control of Your Thoughts

Do you ever find yourself stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, imagining the worst-case scenario, or constantly questioning your worth? You’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not broken. These patterns of negative thinking are common, and they stem from how our brains are wired. The good news is that you can learn to calm your inner critic and reshape the way you think.

Understanding the Inner Critic

The inner critic is that internal voice that often says things like, “You’re not good enough,” or “You always mess things up.” While it may sound harsh, this voice usually forms as a way to protect us, shaped by past experiences and reinforced by the brain’s natural negativity bias.

This bias means our brains are more likely to focus on negative thoughts or experiences than positive ones. In the past, this helped our ancestors survive threats. Today, it often fuels anxiety, overthinking, and self-criticism.

Why Do We Think This Way?

The amygdala, our brain’s emotional alarm system, plays a big role. When triggered, it floods us with anxiety, even when the “threat” is just fear of failure or embarrassment. At the same time, chronic stress can weaken the prefrontal cortex, the rational part of our brain responsible for calming us down and making balanced decisions.

The result? We get stuck in thought traps that amplify negativity.

Common Thought Traps

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) identifies several common unhelpful thinking patterns:

• Mental Filtering: Focusing only on the negatives.

• Mind Reading: Assuming you know what others are thinking, usually something negative.

• Should and Musts: Putting pressure on yourself with unrealistic expectations.

• Emotional Reasoning: Believing something is true just because you feel it.

• Labelling: Defining yourself by one mistake or shortcoming.

  
  

Recognising these patterns is the first step in changing them.

Tools to Calm Your Inner Critic

Once you’ve identified a negative thought, you can start to manage it using these practical strategies:

1. STOP Technique

• Stop what you're doing

• Take a breath

• Observe your thoughts

• Proceed mindfully

  
  

Ask yourself: Will this thought matter in a week? Am I assuming the worst? Is this something I can control?

2. Fact or Opinion?

Challenge your thoughts. Is this a proven fact, or just an opinion shaped by emotion?

3. Reframe the “What Ifs”

Instead of “What if I fail?” try “What if I succeed?” Turning a fearful thought into a hopeful one can shift your emotional state immediately.

4. The 3 R’s

• Recognise the negative thought

• Rationalise the truth behind it

• Replace it with a kinder, more balanced thought

  
  

5. THINK Technique

Before believing a thought, ask:Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind?

6. Breathing Techniques

Techniques like triangle breathing and the 4-7-8 method help regulate your nervous system and calm your mind when anxiety strikes.

Final Thoughts

Your inner critic isn't the enemy; it’s just a voice trying to protect you, based on old information. But you don’t have to let it run the show. With awareness, compassion, and practical tools, you can retrain that voice to be more supportive and realistic.

Remember: You are not your thoughts. You have the power to rewrite them, and that’s where healing begins.

You're welcome to reach out for a free consultation via the contact page on this website if you would like any support with your inner critic.